• You worry a lot about how they'll react to things you say/do
• You think twice about saying what you think or doing what you want
• They used to be very sweet and kind, and now they are not. They are controlling.
  
• Your family and/or friends don't like the person you are seeing, and warn you about that person
• You feel your needs & desires come second
• He/she tells you they cannot live without you
• They break or hit things
• They treat animals badly
• They are always jealous
• They pressure you into doing things you don't want to do (sexual things, going places, different activities)
• They slap or shove you in a seemingly "playful" way, but it feels wrong to you
• They're frequently in a bad mood or have mood swings
• They want your relationship to get serious very quickly
• They treat you like property
• They make you choose between them and friends/family
• They insult or criticize you
• They have trouble controlling their temper
• They twist the truth
• They try to control how you dress/do your make-up/style your hair
• They accuse you of things that are not true
• You feel as if you are a possession rather than a person
• They are constantly calling or texting you, wanting to know what you're doing or who you're with
• You feel as if you have no room to breathe
• They are nosy and snoop through your things (such as your phone)
• They talk down to you, as if you are not an equal
• You feel as if you are slowly losing who you truly are
• They begin to push/hit/shove you

If any of these apply to you (or any of your friends), it may be a bad relationship... perhaps even one that is abusive. You may want to talk to someone who can help or give you advice! That's what we're here for. Please call SafeNet at 814-455-8161! We are always there for you, 24 hours a day/7 days a week! We will not judge you, and we will keep everything you say a total secret.

Not so long ago, it was expected that a woman in a relationship be obedient to a man, no matter what the cost. The wife in a marriage was expected to stay at home, clean the house, and cook dinner every night for the husband. The husband was expected to go to work and provide for the family. (See the absurd picture on the left!) These were very strict gender roles.

WELL! It's not exactly like that anymore! LOL. Things have changed! Women are "allowed" to go out and get a job, and sometimes it may even be considered "acceptable" for a man to be a stay-at-home dad who cooks & cleans. 

Unfortunately, many of society's expectations of women & men in gender roles have stuck with us, even today. These expectations lead to abusive relationships and dating violence! It is very important to be aware of them.

 These are some examples.

A Woman is Taught:

• to do what she is asked/told
• to be pleasing to a man
• to hurt no one's feelings
• to look good
• to be taken care of if she is good
• to compete with others for a man's attention
• to care for others before herself
• to follow the rules
• to be compliant
• to say yes/OK
• to enjoy being a girl- forever "immature"
• to be feminine 
• to be helpless
• to let others make choices for her
• to expect a man to make her happy
• to be friendly & helpful
• to accept her status

A Man is Taught:

• to control others
• to be in control of situations
• to score/achieve
• to discuss women's bodies, part by part
• to "have" a dream
• to work as a team
• to push himself
• to take risks/challenges
• to make the rules
• to be virile
• to be a man- to grow up
• to make decisions
• to put women on a pedestal
• to expect service from a woman
• to belittle "girlish" things
• to take charge
• to be the "breadwinner"

Let's not perpetuate these stereotypes! It's time to go against the grain and be ourselves! If you want to be a stay-at-home dad someday, go for it! If you want to be a woman who works full-time and doesn't particularly like to clean the house, that's fine! If you are a guy and you like to show emotion, that's awesome! If you are a chick who loves to play sports and never wear make-up, fantastic! BE YOURSELF, and don't let anyone tell you differently!