In today's world, it is hard to be sure that the person you're dating is the right person for you. Between high school gossip, text messages that end up starting fights, and the craziness of Facebook, it is really hard to get to know a person without outside influences. So, how do you know that the girl/guy you're going out with on Friday night is compatible with you? 

Probably the best thing to first (even before you start dating someone) do is to make a "laundry list" of characteristics you'd like in a dating partner. For example, is it really important to you that your partner is good at communicating with you? Or is it important that he/she is of a certain religious faith? Or perhaps you'd like your partner to be someone who shares a lot of similar interests with you, such as sports or music? 

Knowing these things ahead of time makes it easier to identify a lot of different things-- WHERE you might want to meet someone to begin with (such as a sporting event, music practice, church youth group, etc.), what kind of person will make you happy, & whether that person you went out with on Friday night could be someone you want to be with long-term.

However, the most important thing to note about making your "laundry list" is this: Superficial characteristics such as hair color, clothing styles, popularity, etc. are NOT as important as personality traits and interests. Some of those things may be important to you at first, but they are not going to be the determining factors in whether your relationship will succeed or not. Make sure to limit the superficial characteristics on your list. 

Have you made your "laundry list" yet?

If not, here are some great ideas for traits to put on your list. These traits are characteristics which will make almost any relationship succeed. 

• Someone who supports your relationships with friends and family members. He or she is willing to spend time with your friends and family to get to know them, and at the same time gives you space to spend time alone with them.
• Someone who maintains his or her own friendships, and wants you to get to know his or her friends.
• Someone who supports your personal growth. He or she encourages you to participate in activities that are good for you, like team sports or other athletic activities, clubs or groups you belong to, a job or a hobby.
• Someone who continues his or her own interests in outside activities, such as sports, clubs or groups, a job or a hobby.
• Someone who asks your opinion.
• Someone who is comfortable with your having different opinions from him or her, and does not take it as a personal insult when you disagree.
• Someone who you feel comfortable expressing your feelings and emotions with.
• Someone who talks AND listens.
• Someone who accepts responsibility for his or her own behavior, feelings and thoughts.
• Someone who can apologize when he or she is wrong, and accept your apology when you're wrong.
• Someone who considers the relationship a partnership.
• Someone who shares in decision-making.
• Someone who expects both partners to control their own money, and never uses money as a way of getting what he or she wants. 
• Someone who treats other people with respect. (If a male, one who treats his mother and sisters with respect.)
• Someone who is secure enough not to feel threatened by your friendships with people of either sex.
• Someone who trusts you and expects you to be trusted.
• Someone who encourages you in your goals and dreams.
• Someone who makes positive statements about your strengths.
• Someone who you feel safe with.
• Someone who can resolve conflicts without resorting to violence or put-downs.

Make your list of what you would like in a partner, otherwise, how will you know when you find it?